In a biting satirical piece for American Thinker, conservative writer Harold Witkov jokingly takes responsibility for the Republican Party’s midterm election losses—blaming himself and fellow Jewish conservatives for allegedly tricking former President Trump into a disastrous war with Iran. The column, dripping with sarcasm, mocks GOP scapegoating over the party’s electoral collapse.
‘Silly Me, I Thought Stopping Nukes Was a Good Idea’
Witkov opens with a mock confession, riffing on a Lenny Bruce bit where the comedian ‘admitted’ to killing Jesus. ‘If he was willing to take the heat for murdering Jesus,’ Witkov writes, ‘the least I could do was confess to my role in the recent demolition of the Republican Party.’ He then lists his ‘crimes’: opposing a nuclear-armed Iran, supporting regime change, and—most damningly—believing victory might make the world safer. ‘How was I to know gas would go up over a buck a gallon?’ he quips.
Vance’s Finger-Pointing Prompted the ‘Confession’
The piece takes aim at Vice President Vance, who reportedly blamed the Iran war and U.S.-Israel ties for the GOP’s midterm rout. Witkov sarcastically preempts the blame: ‘So I’m confessing guilt for ruining the Republican Party before Vice President Vance starts pointing his finger directly at me.’ He then ‘admits’ to conspiring with Netanyahu, Ben Shapiro, and other Jewish conservatives to ‘mesmerize’ Trump into conflict.
A Darkly Comic Family Tradition
Witkov leans into the absurdity, recalling his father being similarly blamed for WWII by antisemitic soldiers. The column’s exaggerated tone underscores its real point: that Republican infighting and conspiratorial finger-pointing—not any minority group—are the party’s real liabilities. As Witkov ‘pleads guilty’ to single-handedly tanking the GOP, the joke lands where intended: on those actually peddling such narratives.
Source: www.americanthinker.com — https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2026/11/i-confess-i-caused-the-midterm-shellacking/