It has been a year of extremes for Andrea Widburg, a contributor at the American Thinker. In May, she welcomed her first grandchild. This week, her sister was placed in hospice care. The collision of life’s beginning and its end has crystallized a personal philosophy she believes we should all adopt: catch people being good, and tell them you love them — with specifics.
Writing in the American Thinker, Widburg reflects on the emotional whiplash of watching a new life enter the world while a beloved one prepares to leave it. Her advice is simple, but the reasoning runs deep: too often, we wait until a funeral to say the things that should have been said all along.
The New Parent’s Forgotten Need
Much of the cultural focus on a newborn centers on the baby — feeding, diapers, sleepless nights. Widburg notes that friends and family are often quick to offer practical help, giving young parents a break. But the emotional toll on the parents themselves is frequently overlooked.
She urges those close to new mothers and fathers to actively bolster them. To the exhausted mother, she says, tell her she’s doing wonderfully and that you’re proud of her. Remind her that perfection isn’t the goal, and that taking care of herself — food, sleep — is essential to caring for the infant. To the frustrated father balancing a full-time job alongside supporting his wife, she recommends genuine admiration for his generosity of spirit.
These words, Widburg argues, serve as “emotional armor” for parents navigating one of the most trying transitions life offers. It’s not about empty praise or participation trophies; it’s about noticing the unglamorous, daily grind and acknowledging it out loud.
A Philosophy of Specific Praise
Widburg’s broader life philosophy is straightforward: “Catch people being good.” She isn’t advocating for undeserved awards or inflated compliments. Rather, she emphasizes observing the small, quiet things people do every day that go unremarked — and then verbalizing that recognition.
She adds a crucial layer: when telling loved ones you love them, don’t just say the words. Include a reason. “You’re thoughtful. You’re kind. You make my life happier.” This specificity, she says, is what makes the affection real and felt.
“I see you, and I value what I see,” she writes — a sentiment that transforms a generic platitude into a genuine gift.
A Lesson From a Funeral
This conviction was forged years ago at her father’s funeral. Widburg describes listening as people stood up, one by one, to share all the things they admired about her father — qualities they had never actually told him while he was alive. The scene left her with a resolve: it is a tragedy to wait for a funeral to speak your heart.
She has applied that lesson diligently with her sister, who lives far away. For years, in every conversation, Widburg has made it a point to tell her sister she loves her and why — openly admiring her intelligence, kindness, courage in hard times, creativity, and other strengths.
Now, with her sister in hospice care, Widburg feels no frantic need to make a last-ditch cross-country flight to whisper final words bedside. Not because she doesn’t care, but because she has already said everything that matters. “I don’t need a mad, cross-country dash to stand by her unconscious body… to tell her what I told her every day.”
Don’t Save It for the Eulogy
The column is a pointed challenge to a common human failing: the belief that our loved ones simply know how we feel. Widburg dismisses this assumption. “The ‘L’ word is not a dirty word,” she insists, and even if expressing affection feels awkward, the discomfort is worth it.
She widens the lens beyond family, suggesting we tell our friends why they are our friends — and adding a wry observation: if you can’t think of a reason, “maybe you’re hanging with the wrong crowd.”
Her closing reflection ties the personal to the political, noting that the ability to speak one’s mind freely is vital to a functioning republic. But the core message remains intensely personal: say the words now, while they can still be heard.
Widburg also notes a statistical underpinning for family life, citing recent polls showing that married men and women with children rank among the happiest Americans by a wide margin. She acknowledges parenting is harder with each generation, and that not everyone can or should have children, but argues the rewards are unparalleled.
The piece stands as a reminder that while we often plan for the future, we sometimes neglect the emotional present. Whether welcoming a grandchild or saying goodbye to a sister, the opportunity to express love and appreciation doesn’t need to wait for a special occasion — or a eulogy.
This article is based on Andrea Widburg’s August 2026 column published by the American Thinker.
Source: www.americanthinker.com — https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2026/08/if-you-love-someone-tell-them-and-be-specific/